I am going to start a new life I might love again.. you might try your luck with love again
If we are destined to be together, we will still find each other, somehow, someday.
I am sorry for causing you shame and pain. Sorry for disturbing your little world there. I am sorry for the numerous little mistakes that I've made and that made you love me less. Part of me would like to keep holding on. But the more I hold on to you, the more I get hurt. Letting go is never easy. But I will, have to.
I'll try to find love again.
But I still hope that after looking for love for so long... I would still find you.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I'm back!
I'm back!
After my unplanned hiatus, I'm here again expressing whatever thoughts that cross my demented mind.
I have been planning to write again since writing is my way of destressing, but I never got to sit down and do the usual stuff that I so love to do.
Then I found an inspiration.
And now I'm back! =)
After my unplanned hiatus, I'm here again expressing whatever thoughts that cross my demented mind.
I have been planning to write again since writing is my way of destressing, but I never got to sit down and do the usual stuff that I so love to do.
Then I found an inspiration.
And now I'm back! =)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Loser?
I received a text message from a former staff and it says “Loser!Haha!” I was taken aback. Am i really a loser?
At the age of thirty, I haven’t done anything significant in my life. I had a good paying job but I gave it up, because I was too stressed with the way things are going in the company. A year after, I was offered simultaneously with two jobs. One offers a higher salary and the position is already top management, the other is supervisory and the pay is meager. And guess which job I chose!. I chickened out. I was not confident with my ability so I settled with the less glamourous and low paying job. And the job I chose cost me an enemy, who calls me a loser without second thoughts
I’m beginning to think that indeed, I am a loser.
BUT I am NOT!
At the age of thirty, I haven’t done anything significant in my life. I had a good paying job but I gave it up, because I was too stressed with the way things are going in the company. A year after, I was offered simultaneously with two jobs. One offers a higher salary and the position is already top management, the other is supervisory and the pay is meager. And guess which job I chose!. I chickened out. I was not confident with my ability so I settled with the less glamourous and low paying job. And the job I chose cost me an enemy, who calls me a loser without second thoughts
I’m beginning to think that indeed, I am a loser.
BUT I am NOT!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: Happy Father's Day
To have someone like these two is a real blessing in life. Happy Father's day...
...my husband
and my dad
And to all the father's in the world!
...my husband
and my dadAnd to all the father's in the world!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thoughtful Thursday
If you're not prepared to look stupid, then nothing great is ever gonna happen- House's patient-
Sunday, June 1, 2008
SURVIVOR - my own edition
I was a "cast away" for two weeks. No electricity, no news from the outside world. At night I would rely on the cool breeze to lull me into sleep in the absence of air conditioning. Yet, the mosquito net that shields me from mosquito bites would also shield me from fully enjoying the breeze. However, in my own SURVIVOR episode, I have the luxury of a mosquito net, some candles, the softness of my bed and the comfort of our home MINUS the ELECTRICITY.
Power was cut off on the afternoon of May 17, Saturday and was only restored on May 30, Friday. Storm COSME landed on my province in the afternoon of Saturday, while I was busy fulfilling the role of an usherette in my friend's wedding.
In the early morning of May 17, I was having second thoughts in attending the wedding due to the nonstop rain. What made me decide to attend is my yellow gown and my golden shoes =). And so, armed with an overnight bag, I braved the rain. The wedding is set at 5:30 in the afternoon. I was supposed to arrive before the guests and the entourage, so I left our house at eleven in the morning. It was a one and half hour ride, but I still have enough time for make up and changing into the yellow gown. But halfway from having my make up done, the power was cut off. And when my friend and I were about to go to where the ceremony would take place, the wind was blowing so hard, the glass door of the salon was pushed open. Somehow, despite the wind, we managed to arrive safe, sound and beautiful. It was quarter to five. We have settled the guests in the ceremony hall and the entourage in the coffee shop adjacent to the hall. By six in the evening, the ceremony started. I was teary eyed because finally, my friend has found the right woman. While I was trying to control my tears from falling, typhoon Cosme did not spare us from his wrath. He continued blowing strong winds and showering us with non stop rain. When the ceremony was finished, the bride and groom were rushed to the reception hall. But only the two of them managed to get through the strong wind. The rest of the entourage and the guests were ushered to the coffee shop. And there, we spent almost two hours waiting for Cosme's wrath to subside. The guests were calling and texting the family and relatives they left at home. We were agitated because the wind was so strong we can hear galvanized roofs being blown away. Some were concerned about their car being hit by branches of trees, others feared that their place could be flooded. Yet, after an hour of waiting and being stranded in the coffee shop, water came flowing inside. And slowly it started rising that I have to put my feet up on a chair. The water reached my ankle, then above it. The kids were restless. They were hungry and angry. It was a little past nine in the evening when we were ushered by the hotel personnel to the reception area. Everyone took off their shoes, lifted their skirts and pants and walked through the flooded corridor, water reaching half my leg. We no longer care how we look, all we wanted was to move in a safer and drier place, and a place where we could ease our hunger.
My ordeal did not end there. I have no place to stay. The hotel could no longer accommodate me for an overnight stay because their rooms were flooded. Same with the other hotel i called. I chanced by a tricycle and decided to sleep at my aunts house which is 3 kilometers away. But halfway there, we were stopped. We can no longer pass the road because the water was starting to rise, numerous trees were uprooted, roofs were thrown, electrical lines were cut and billboards were all blocking the road. I was shocked. I have nowhere to go. I was in the middle of a signal number three typhoon, caught in the debris of destruction and with no one to rely on. I can only answer the driver with my tears when he asked me where to take me next. I decided to try the other hotel I called earlier, and luckily, they were able to clean the flooded rooms and accommodate me.
It was midnight when i arrived, but I was not able to sleep at once. When I woke up, I was uncertain if I could go home, the bus I was to take suspended their operation. When I went out of the hotel, the sun was shining. The wind was calm. But the degree of destruction is evident. On my way home, I saw houses that were destroyed, missing roofs, walls, and some, only posts were left. People were walking in the flooded road, water reaching their waists. Trucks, buses, cars were stranded on one side of the road. Only big buses braved the flood. Trees were uprooted, branches were cut, fruits were blown away. I was in disbelief. The destruction was so wide and until now, some parts of my province is still living in the dark.
But what is evident is that despite the destruction and misfortune, the people in my province tried to live normally. After the storm came the sun and with the sun the hope in every one's heart. Hope that something could still be salvaged from the debris and hope that everything will be alright, eventually.
I survived Cosme. Our province survived Cosme. Some things might not have been restored to this day, but it will be, eventually.
Someone from above is watching over us.
Power was cut off on the afternoon of May 17, Saturday and was only restored on May 30, Friday. Storm COSME landed on my province in the afternoon of Saturday, while I was busy fulfilling the role of an usherette in my friend's wedding.
In the early morning of May 17, I was having second thoughts in attending the wedding due to the nonstop rain. What made me decide to attend is my yellow gown and my golden shoes =). And so, armed with an overnight bag, I braved the rain. The wedding is set at 5:30 in the afternoon. I was supposed to arrive before the guests and the entourage, so I left our house at eleven in the morning. It was a one and half hour ride, but I still have enough time for make up and changing into the yellow gown. But halfway from having my make up done, the power was cut off. And when my friend and I were about to go to where the ceremony would take place, the wind was blowing so hard, the glass door of the salon was pushed open. Somehow, despite the wind, we managed to arrive safe, sound and beautiful. It was quarter to five. We have settled the guests in the ceremony hall and the entourage in the coffee shop adjacent to the hall. By six in the evening, the ceremony started. I was teary eyed because finally, my friend has found the right woman. While I was trying to control my tears from falling, typhoon Cosme did not spare us from his wrath. He continued blowing strong winds and showering us with non stop rain. When the ceremony was finished, the bride and groom were rushed to the reception hall. But only the two of them managed to get through the strong wind. The rest of the entourage and the guests were ushered to the coffee shop. And there, we spent almost two hours waiting for Cosme's wrath to subside. The guests were calling and texting the family and relatives they left at home. We were agitated because the wind was so strong we can hear galvanized roofs being blown away. Some were concerned about their car being hit by branches of trees, others feared that their place could be flooded. Yet, after an hour of waiting and being stranded in the coffee shop, water came flowing inside. And slowly it started rising that I have to put my feet up on a chair. The water reached my ankle, then above it. The kids were restless. They were hungry and angry. It was a little past nine in the evening when we were ushered by the hotel personnel to the reception area. Everyone took off their shoes, lifted their skirts and pants and walked through the flooded corridor, water reaching half my leg. We no longer care how we look, all we wanted was to move in a safer and drier place, and a place where we could ease our hunger.
My ordeal did not end there. I have no place to stay. The hotel could no longer accommodate me for an overnight stay because their rooms were flooded. Same with the other hotel i called. I chanced by a tricycle and decided to sleep at my aunts house which is 3 kilometers away. But halfway there, we were stopped. We can no longer pass the road because the water was starting to rise, numerous trees were uprooted, roofs were thrown, electrical lines were cut and billboards were all blocking the road. I was shocked. I have nowhere to go. I was in the middle of a signal number three typhoon, caught in the debris of destruction and with no one to rely on. I can only answer the driver with my tears when he asked me where to take me next. I decided to try the other hotel I called earlier, and luckily, they were able to clean the flooded rooms and accommodate me.
It was midnight when i arrived, but I was not able to sleep at once. When I woke up, I was uncertain if I could go home, the bus I was to take suspended their operation. When I went out of the hotel, the sun was shining. The wind was calm. But the degree of destruction is evident. On my way home, I saw houses that were destroyed, missing roofs, walls, and some, only posts were left. People were walking in the flooded road, water reaching their waists. Trucks, buses, cars were stranded on one side of the road. Only big buses braved the flood. Trees were uprooted, branches were cut, fruits were blown away. I was in disbelief. The destruction was so wide and until now, some parts of my province is still living in the dark.
But what is evident is that despite the destruction and misfortune, the people in my province tried to live normally. After the storm came the sun and with the sun the hope in every one's heart. Hope that something could still be salvaged from the debris and hope that everything will be alright, eventually.
I survived Cosme. Our province survived Cosme. Some things might not have been restored to this day, but it will be, eventually.
Someone from above is watching over us.
Friday, May 16, 2008
A Divine intervention or just a mere concidence?
It happened again!
Whenever I make a step in applying for a job through the net, either my mom gets sick, or I get sick.
I have been a stay home mom for almost nine months already. Although I enjoy every moment of it, I feel restless sometimes. I was used to managing a number of people, setting targets and achieving them. For eight years I was subjected to a challenging job, then it all stopped when I resigned. I thirst for knowledge and learning. Not that I do not find new learnings from the everyday experience with my daughter, but I think I need more. So I decided to try my luck again.
But a day after I made that step, my mom was rushed to the hospital. The doctor ordered a CT scan to check her brain because she seemed to have lost motor skills for a very short period of time. That night, I didn't sleep at all. Luckily, the result was negative. thank GOD!
This is not the first time it happened. And I no longer think it is just a coincidence.
I am an only child and my mom is 69 years old. I should be taking good care of her. I believe someone is telling me to do that through these incidents.
Divine intervention or not, I really shoud be doing that.
Whenever I make a step in applying for a job through the net, either my mom gets sick, or I get sick.
I have been a stay home mom for almost nine months already. Although I enjoy every moment of it, I feel restless sometimes. I was used to managing a number of people, setting targets and achieving them. For eight years I was subjected to a challenging job, then it all stopped when I resigned. I thirst for knowledge and learning. Not that I do not find new learnings from the everyday experience with my daughter, but I think I need more. So I decided to try my luck again.
But a day after I made that step, my mom was rushed to the hospital. The doctor ordered a CT scan to check her brain because she seemed to have lost motor skills for a very short period of time. That night, I didn't sleep at all. Luckily, the result was negative. thank GOD!
This is not the first time it happened. And I no longer think it is just a coincidence.
I am an only child and my mom is 69 years old. I should be taking good care of her. I believe someone is telling me to do that through these incidents.
Divine intervention or not, I really shoud be doing that.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Blog Your Blessings: Happy Mother's Day!
Your Mother Is Always With You
~Author Unknown
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home.
She's the map you follow with every step that you take.
She's your first love and your first heart break.
Nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space, not even death...
will ever separate you from your mother...
You carry her inside your heart!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the Mommy, Mama, Mom, Niang, Okaasan, Eomma, Inay, Nanay.
~Author Unknown
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home.
She's the map you follow with every step that you take.
She's your first love and your first heart break.
Nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space, not even death...
will ever separate you from your mother...
You carry her inside your heart!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the Mommy, Mama, Mom, Niang, Okaasan, Eomma, Inay, Nanay.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Happy Seventh Anniversary!
Today marks our 7th year of marriage. Just like any other couple, ours was not pure bliss. We went through a lot. We experienced disappointments and failures and we almost gave up on each other. But we managed to overcome the numerous trials that came across our path. We simply refused to give up on our promise of forever.
" I looked for love for so long, and when I had
finally given up, you came into my life.
It's as if I have to meet a few wrong people
in order to find and appreciate the
right one. I thank God for bringing you into
my life, 'cause in you, I find happiness
and completeness"
Seven years is not a monumental achievement to a lot of people, but in this age, where falling in and out of love is so fast paced, it is one of OUR greatest achievement.
" I looked for love for so long, and when I had
finally given up, you came into my life.
It's as if I have to meet a few wrong people
in order to find and appreciate the
right one. I thank God for bringing you into
my life, 'cause in you, I find happiness
and completeness"
Seven years is not a monumental achievement to a lot of people, but in this age, where falling in and out of love is so fast paced, it is one of OUR greatest achievement.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sad...sad..sad...
I have always tried to be a good person, always taking a step ahead, always thinking of how the other person might feel. In the process, I have let the people around me take advantage of me.
I have always tried to keep my mouth shut, always weighing my words, always considering how the other person might accept it. In the end, the opportunity to be understood slipped away.
I have suffered in silence. But there is no one to blame but I.
I let them.
I have always tried to keep my mouth shut, always weighing my words, always considering how the other person might accept it. In the end, the opportunity to be understood slipped away.
I have suffered in silence. But there is no one to blame but I.
I let them.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: Top of her class
Andrea is Mary help of Christians Learning Center Grade 1 class First Honors. She was also awarded Best in English, Best in Filipino, Best in Science, Best in Sibika, Best in Religion and Most Disciplined. I am so proud of her. But the award I treasure the most is the Most Disciplined award. It says a lot about her character, and in a way, shows how I and my husband nurtured our daughter. Too bad, dad wasn't around to assist me in pinning the medals and ribbons to our little girl.
And worst, her pictures while she was being awarded were corrupted when I tried editing it. But this misfortune couldn't dampen my spirit, I am blessed to have a beautiful, intelligent, responsible and God fearing daughter.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
How to Stay Happy Always - a forwarded email
1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
*********
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!
6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.
7 Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity
This includes age, weight, and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
*********
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!
6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.
7 Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sad News
Former President Corazon "Cory" Aquino was diagnosed to have a colon cancer. Her family, represented by Senator Noynoy Aquino and talk show host Kris Aquino informed the Filipino people yesterday that their mother was diagnosed with colon cancer. President Aquino is a well known political leader. She is also known for her strong faith in God.
I admire the former President so much. Her life is full of challenges but she always get through the trials. Her husband was a political detainee during the dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos. For an ordinary woman, what she went through during her husband's detention is difficult to surpass, but she is different. Aided by her strong faith in God, Cory Aquino survived this trial in her life. Her faith and strength was again tested when her husband, the well known former Senator Ninoy Aquino was assasinated when he braved to come home to his beloved Philippines. She has been a picture of a strong wife and mother. Then she became President of the Philippines in 1986, after the dictatorship of Ferdinand Marcos was overthrown by people power or "EDSA l". Even during her term, her leadership was tested by two coup attempts, all of which she emerged victorious in the end. But I guess, the greatest test of her strength and faith in God is during this time, her battle with colon cancer. But according to her family, her faith in God was not shaken.
The former President is really a picture of strength. She has proven her strength as a wife, a mother, a political leader and as a child of God.But I guess, it wouldn't hurt her and her family, if we pray for her fast recovery.
I humbly ask those who would stumble upon this blog to offer a silent prayer for President Cory Aquino's fast recovery. She is a pillar of strength in my eyes and to the eyes of millions of Filipino people who look up to her.
Incidentally, this is her first day of chemotherapy
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: Easter Message
Pope Benedict's Easter message is for all the injustices, hatred and violence around the world to end.
Let us take a moment to reflect and pray that each of us may find peace in our heart and mind, in our family, in our life, and in the world.
No matter how chaotic the world have become, there is always hope that we will find peace.
Just like the picture above, no matter how dark the clouds are, there will always be a persistent ray of light penetrating through it.
Happy easter!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Good Friday!
And it's my birthday today!
This photo was taken last year on my birthday. It was the most unforgetable birthday, and the most expensive since the trip was out of the country. I was smiling here, which is quite the opposite when I am preoccupied with work, and it was almost ALWAYS. After our five day trip, I realized I have never felt so carefree and so at peace and happy that the glow inside reflected on my face. And it was while looking at our three hundred plus photos from the trip that made me think on what I really want in my life.
Peace of mind.
As I turn a year older today, I'd like to think that I have been "reborn". My priorities changed, my values strengthened, and I found out I could laugh like a child again.
Happy birthday to me. =)
This photo was taken last year on my birthday. It was the most unforgetable birthday, and the most expensive since the trip was out of the country. I was smiling here, which is quite the opposite when I am preoccupied with work, and it was almost ALWAYS. After our five day trip, I realized I have never felt so carefree and so at peace and happy that the glow inside reflected on my face. And it was while looking at our three hundred plus photos from the trip that made me think on what I really want in my life.
Peace of mind.
As I turn a year older today, I'd like to think that I have been "reborn". My priorities changed, my values strengthened, and I found out I could laugh like a child again.
Happy birthday to me. =)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Eight lies of a Mother
I received this email from a male friend, and it touched me so much that I decided to share it here.
EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER
This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't
enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her
portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say
"Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry." This was Mother's First Lie.
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our
house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could gave me a little bit
more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she
would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me
and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten, My
heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my
chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, "Eat this fish, son! I don't
really like fish." This was Mother's Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to
bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh
matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I
awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said,
"Mother,go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning."
Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired." This was Mother's
Third Lie .
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After
dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When
the bell rang, I ran to meet her.. Mother embraced me and poured me a
glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as
strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at
once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son!
I'm not thirsty!". This was Mother's Fourth Lie.
After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent.
She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our
family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing
our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came
to help us solve our problems big and small.
Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often
advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying "I don't
need love."
This was Mother's Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my
old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning
just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was
steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, "I have
enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the
American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies.
With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life
in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me "I'm
not used to high living."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie
In her old age, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be
hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was
bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was
heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, "Don't cry, son!
I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.
Telling me this her eighth lie, she died.
YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!
M - O - T - H - E - R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of gold,
"E" is for her eyes with love-light shining in them,
"R" means
right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
"MOTHER"--
a word that means the world to me.
EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER
This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't
enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her
portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say
"Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry." This was Mother's First Lie.
As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our
house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could gave me a little bit
more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she
would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me
and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten, My
heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my
chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, "Eat this fish, son! I don't
really like fish." This was Mother's Second Lie.
Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to
bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh
matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I
awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said,
"Mother,go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning."
Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired." This was Mother's
Third Lie .
When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After
dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When
the bell rang, I ran to meet her.. Mother embraced me and poured me a
glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as
strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at
once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son!
I'm not thirsty!". This was Mother's Fourth Lie.
After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent.
She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our
family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing
our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came
to help us solve our problems big and small.
Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often
advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying "I don't
need love."
This was Mother's Fifth Lie.
After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my
old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning
just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was
steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, "I have
enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the
American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies.
With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life
in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me "I'm
not used to high living."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie
In her old age, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be
hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was
bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was
heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, "Don't cry, son!
I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.
Telling me this her eighth lie, she died.
YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!
M - O - T - H - E - R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of gold,
"E" is for her eyes with love-light shining in them,
"R" means
right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
"MOTHER"--
a word that means the world to me.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Blog Your Bleesings: Cemetery of Negativism
There is an interesting cemetery located at Camp John Hay in Baguio City. It is called Pet Cemetery, Lost cemetery or Cemetery of Negativism. However, no actual animals are buried there. Rather, negative thoughts or the "greatest negativisms of all times" were buried. It was in the early 1980s, when base commander John Hightower enjoined all camp employees to think of the negative thoughts and attitudes that impeded their productivity at work, and symbolically buried them all there.
If we try to create our own cemetery of negativism, is our backyard enough to fit every negative thoughts that cross our mind?
If we try to create our own cemetery of negativism, is our backyard enough to fit every negative thoughts that cross our mind?
On a Holiday!
My cousin and I went on a holiday. Well, sort of. Holiday from our diet, holiday from worries and from the kids.
We went to Baguio to at least feel the "Panagbenga Festival" although it's kinda late already. The busy street of Session road was filled with shops selling all sorts of products, from foods, to handicrafts, to even real estate. My eyes feasted on the various foods being sold along the road. I haven't fgured out till now where I got the courage to resist the temptation of tasting every food being sold.
We ended up eating at Man Han, a chinese restaurant located at SM City. We ordered broccoli with beef rice topping, spicy spare ribs and beef wanton noodles, and it was just the two of us! The rice topping was generous in amount that we ended up sharing it.
Spicy spare ribs
broccoli with beef
Yummy!
We went to Baguio to at least feel the "Panagbenga Festival" although it's kinda late already. The busy street of Session road was filled with shops selling all sorts of products, from foods, to handicrafts, to even real estate. My eyes feasted on the various foods being sold along the road. I haven't fgured out till now where I got the courage to resist the temptation of tasting every food being sold.
We ended up eating at Man Han, a chinese restaurant located at SM City. We ordered broccoli with beef rice topping, spicy spare ribs and beef wanton noodles, and it was just the two of us! The rice topping was generous in amount that we ended up sharing it.
Spicy spare ribs
broccoli with beef Yummy!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Blog Your Bleesings: Panagbenga celebration
If you haven't experienced the "Panagbenga Festival" of Baguio, you are missing a lot. Panagbenga is a kankanaey term which means "a season of blooming." It is also known as the Baguio Flower Festival, some kind of a tribute to the beautiful flowers the city is famous for.
But for me, Panagbenga celebration brings a different memory. For two years, during the street dancing and float parade "days" of the celebration, we would wake up as early as 3 am in order to be at the store as early as 4 am. This is torture for us since the third week of February is considered the coldest in Baguio. We have to open early and be able to cook enough food before the bulk of customers, usually tourists, would come in. I, together with the assistant managers and the crew would be on our feet from early morning till late in the afternoon. I witnessed how the crew persevered and how the managers supported the team members. It was a picture of team work and hard work.
Just like the flowers of Panagbenga, my team blooms during this period. They are blooming in the spirit of team work and hardwork.
I miss my team. I miss being "in action". But I have chosen to be just an observer now. A proud observer of how the flowers and the people bloom.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
The reality of death
If you are given three months to live, how would you spend it? Would you spend it regretting the things you weren't able to do? Or would you spend the last three months of your life sharing love and happiness to the people who mean the most to you?
If I have to chose one among all the asian drama series I have watched over the years, Silence would definitely top my list. It is not just a love story, it is a life story. Watching it made my heart ache, but it opened my eyes to the numerous possibilities in this life. One of which is death.
Death is a reality. Each one of us will have to face this truth, even if we do not want to, in God's perfect time, we will.
Two days after watching this, I experienced the worst chest pain I ever had. I feared that I might have a heart attack any moment, so I sent my husband a message telling him how much he means to me, how I want us to grow old together, how I feared dying this young. That night, the reality of death hit me real hard. I could die any moment. I could die from asthma attack, from heart attack, or I could die from an accident. I maybe well and laughing in the morning, but I will never know when my destiny ends.
After that night, I willed myself to live healthier so I decided to go for a pulmonary check up. I underwent a test called spirometry where I was made to blow air into a measuring device. The normal result is at 80-100% according to the doctor, but I only measured at 53%, way below normal. The good thing though is that my asthma is curable. My chest pain according to the doctor is brought by my asthma too.
I willed myself to live a healthier life, because I don't want to die young. My husband and I will be sacrificing 31 months away from one another. I don't want to put this sacrifice into waste.
To end this melodrama, I would like to borrow the line from the movie John Q " I am not gonna bury my son(daughter), my son(daughter) will gonna bury me"
If I have to chose one among all the asian drama series I have watched over the years, Silence would definitely top my list. It is not just a love story, it is a life story. Watching it made my heart ache, but it opened my eyes to the numerous possibilities in this life. One of which is death.
Death is a reality. Each one of us will have to face this truth, even if we do not want to, in God's perfect time, we will.
Two days after watching this, I experienced the worst chest pain I ever had. I feared that I might have a heart attack any moment, so I sent my husband a message telling him how much he means to me, how I want us to grow old together, how I feared dying this young. That night, the reality of death hit me real hard. I could die any moment. I could die from asthma attack, from heart attack, or I could die from an accident. I maybe well and laughing in the morning, but I will never know when my destiny ends.
After that night, I willed myself to live healthier so I decided to go for a pulmonary check up. I underwent a test called spirometry where I was made to blow air into a measuring device. The normal result is at 80-100% according to the doctor, but I only measured at 53%, way below normal. The good thing though is that my asthma is curable. My chest pain according to the doctor is brought by my asthma too.
I willed myself to live a healthier life, because I don't want to die young. My husband and I will be sacrificing 31 months away from one another. I don't want to put this sacrifice into waste.
To end this melodrama, I would like to borrow the line from the movie John Q " I am not gonna bury my son(daughter), my son(daughter) will gonna bury me"
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