Purpose Driven Life

Blog Your Blessings Sunday

The past week was quite emotional for me. I have often detected disappointment from my father's voice whenever he speaks about my life. I resigned from my job more than a month ago. Since then, he already expressed his opinions on what career I should focus on next. My mother on the other hand would have difficulty telling her friends that I already quit my job. Both of them are often quick to add "she will pursue a masters degree" phrase after telling someone that I am at present, jobless. Being their only child, I understand they only have high expectations for me.

These observations made me doubt my purpose in life. Am I really living a life without a purpose? An empty life? Am I a failure because I no longer work? I quit, I was not fired. I decided to quit because I was not happy, I have no peace of mind and I do not find fulfillment in what I do. I may not have a work now. but I have the most challenging job, being a mother to my daughter.

People find fulfilment in different ways. For some it is their lucrative career, high paying job, big house, new car. But for me, I find fulfillment in my family. Living a simple life with my husband and my daughter, raising my kid into a good person, nurturing the relationship with my husband. I am not a career oriented person, evidently, I am a family oriented individual. Being a hands on mom is no joke. I am a teacher, a story teller, a playmate, a cook, a cleaner, a companion, a guidance counselor, a party host, etc. I could go on with the lists of the role I play being a mother. But my parents take this for granted. For them, the paycheck, the career is the end point. Because they believe that they are successful in raising me only when I have a career and a fat paycheck they can brag about.

The third day question to consider of The Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren is: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want to be?

The driving force of my life is my daughter and my husband. I have often referred to them as my strength. What do I want to be? The best mother in my child's eye, and a loving and nurturing wife in my husband's heart.

"... all achievements are eventually surpassed, records are broken, reputations fade and tributes are forgotten (from the Purpose Driven Life)." And I add, except raising a child into a good person and nurturing the family with love, affection and attention.

Come to think of it, maybe my parents also want to be "the best parents" in my eyes, we have just misunderstood each other.

Deal or No deal?

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to”
George Seaton

A young actress named Maja Salvador was the contestant on tonights episode of deal or no deal at abs cbn channel 2. Since the start of the game, the offer kept on increasing because she was able to choose the lower amounts. Until what was left was five pesos and three million. The bankers offer was 800,000. It is already a huge amount. So it was no wonder why she cried while contemplating whether to deal or not to deal. Then she explained that she asked for a sign. If someone in blue will come inside her dressing room, three million would be in briefcase number 5,but if someone is in orange, the jackpot would be in briefcase number 3. It's as if fate and faith was testing her tonight. Because the two briefcase left was numbers 3 and 5. She chose number 5 for her briefcase because of the sign she asked. She was torn between her faith and the people she could help with the offer. What if her briefcase doesn't have the 3M? What if it does? Her heart told her to go for it, but her mind chose to accept the offer. Her briefcase contains 3 million pesos.

Faith.

We have often asked God for help, for some divine intervention, but when we are given the sign, we fail to notice it, and sometimes, we are just too stubborn to accept that it is actually God's way of answering our prayers.

Again, faith.

More often than not, we recognize God's sign, but instead of following it, believing in it, we chose not to. Because we are afraid that God will disappoint us. Rather, we are afraid to discover that our faith failed us.

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
Mary Manin Morrissey

Tickle.

Tickling is the act of touching a part of the body, so as to cause involuntary twitching movements or laughter. Such sensations can be pleasurable or exciting, but are sometimes considered highly unpleasant, particularly in the case of relentless heavy tickling. - taken from wikipedia
I just had a good laugh from tickling my little girl. She is so ticklish. But she enjoys being tickled and begs for more and more that I tire faster than she does. Tickling just before going to bed or just after waking up is a bonding moment of my girl with her dad. Dad would tickle her and my little girl would beg for more and more, until she cries. They say that tickling sensation is both pain and pleasure. Well, her reaction is one proof of this.

Dad also enjoys being tickled as much as his daughter does. When the light's been turned off and we are about to go to sleep, my husband would ask to be tickled. It makes me smile thinking about how he would cover his face with a pillow to muffle his laughters. More often than not, he would beg me to stop. And when I do, he would ask to be tickled again, until he begs me to stop while crying from too much laughter.

I am the most ticklish person in our family. But I hate being tickled. It is too much pleasurable for me that I kick and bite just so I could escape it. Pleasurable for me, but painful for them.

Well, that's pain and pleasure for me.

It's a rainy day!

It's been raining the past few days, and today is no exception. But I am not complaining. I love the rain. But I love it more on weekends. It makes me stay in bed a little longer. It makes my little girl snuggle with me in our bed. Just the two of us, lying on our back, talking about how terribly we miss dad's presence.
If this is a sunny sunday, she would be making plans about her play date instead of spending extra time with me. She's growing too fast. Her world is becoming wider. But with the rain, she is all mine the whole day.
Thank you for the rain.

stay in love

"After years of mistakes and pain and problems, real love is two people standing together, choosing to be together, despite all that has gone wrong." by shonda rhimes on http://www.greyswriters.com/.

While browsing the POEA forum on Overseas Employment Social issues, particularly the thread Family Abandonment: Your Opinion", I can't help but think about this particular phrase.

A lot have been arguing that it is loneliness that drives them to engage in extra marital affairs, some blames it on the way the family here in the Philippines spends the hard earned money sent to them. Either way, both are faulty and at the same time, not.

A lot could be attributed on how a particular marriage ends. But one common denominator that I could think of is the lack of commitment. When you are committed to loving that person "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part", and mean it, it would not be too difficult to withstand any storm that may struck the marriage. No matter how difficult life seems to be, or how far the distance between you and your loved ones is, the relationship will always work. It is just a matter of choosing, deciding, committing to stay together, to stay married and to stay in love.

Isn't that being idealistic? I am. But I have had my share of bad times too. But amidst all the problems we had, we stayed together and we stayed in love with each other.

Family Abandonment: Your Opinion?

My opinion? Commit.

If all of those who posted a reply on that thread will choose, decide and commit, the statistics would change.

And they would make a difference.

These are the friends I gained from my previous work. From managers to the team members to the rider. They all became my friends. After so many years, we gathered together and celebrated our friendship.

I left my job for eight years to focus on my little girl. I wanted to be there for her all the time. But I have no regrets. Because when I left my job, I brought with me tales of friendship.

Life is more meaningful with friends like them.

It's her Birthday!

Blog Your Blessings Sunday

She brings me never ending joy. Her laughter is music to my ears. Her cries are knife slicing my heart. She is a typical six year old girl. Yet in my eyes, she is the world, she is life. In my life, she is my strength. She is a blessing.

This is a special Sunday for me. Today is her 6th birthday.

Six years of joy, pain, learning and growth for both of us - she, as a growing child, and I, as a "growing mother".

ARK

Act of Random Kindness.

From the movie Evan Almighty. ARK was "God's" answer on how to change the world.

In Superbianca's 4th anniversary, she celebrated it by answering some questions from her readers. One question posted by a reader of her blog is "what should we do for a world to be a better place. Bianca's answer is from a quote forwarded to her by someone who heard it from boy and kris... every time you do good, the world changes.

The idea is so simple, yet so true.

If only the 6.7 billion people occupying the earth would at least do one good thing, one act of random kindness everyday, imagine how the world would become eventually. And if every time we receive one act of kindness, we repay it by doing a good thing on someone, then we have contributed to changing the world.

Every big thing came from something small. Why don't we start with ARK?

REGRETS

I have made decisions which I am not proud of. I look back at the past from time to time, but I do not have any regrets....

Regrets

When you regret something, there is that desire to take back what you did, to erase it and replace it with "the right one".

You dwell on the past, wallow in self pity or self loathing, and moving on appears to be toilsome. It makes life wearisome.

only realizations...

Realization

With realization, you admit that it was a bad choice, yet you stand by that choice, but, you do things which could turn that bad decision into something else.

It gives you hope, a future. It enables you to reverse the effect of whatever bad decisions you made.

...Never regret something that you said or did, because at that certain point in your life, it was the right thing to say or do

My 10 ways to cope with loneliness

Dad, here is what i occupied myself with the last two days you weren't here beside us. Day 1 - accompanied mom to urdaneta.texted you almost every hour for an update.Later in the evening, Andrea and I watched High School musical 2, which I think I enjoyed more than she did. Started reading a book " The Ivy chronicles". The book we bought together. Read it until the 2:30 am. Sorry. I tried going to bed early but I was panicking a bit about you. Glad you texted me and assured me that you are fine. How to cope with loneliness tip # 1. Exhaustion. I tried to exhaust myself from physical activities so i would be too tired to notice the motional pain I am going through tip # 2. Diversion. Read a book about a very unfortunate woman who found her husband in their bathroom with a naked woman who turns out to be the wife of the very same person who maneouvered to get her job axed in the guise of saving millions for the company, on the very same day her job was axed. It would make you feel less miserable Day 2 - free day! or so I thought. After sleeping so late last night, err, early morning, I thought I could go to sleep til noon. It's a saturday. And most working "men and women" sleep late during this day of the week. But Ate Pinay picked up the laundry 30 minutes past 6. With a very little sleep, I dragged myself out of bed and fixed our clothes for laundry. I wanted to go back to bed, but I promised Andrea I would make pancakes for her breakfast. And Buffy's insistent barking is a warning that she needs to pee and poo. I have to walk her to the front yard where she does her morning rituals. Luckily, Aya was in the mood to walk buffy. I attended to the pups first, brought them out of their kennel so they too can exercise, prepared milk and dog food for both buffy and the pups. I need to do this, so our breakfast would be peaceful. After we had our breakfast, I decided to change the curtains in our room. Which led me to reorganizing the bedroom, bathroom and our shoe rack. Gave Andrea a bath and prepared her for her "playdate" with friends. Whew! After I was able to put the final touch of the reorganization, it was almost 12 noon. tip # 3. Always promise I'll make breakfast for Andrea. This way, I will have to wake up early. Cut my daydreaming, or stop feeling miserable with Barney in bed. It takes my mind off my dear husband who I guess is still sound asleep. tip # 4. Nurture my pets, get some more pets. The louder their barking, the more difficult it is to stay in bed. Isay and Lucky are learning the art of barking. And I feel guilty not answering their call. Aside from being busy taking care of the pets, they help me release my emotions without fear of being judged (well, except maybe for some neighbors who would think I am exagerrating) tip # 5. Change the curtain in our bedroom. It makes the room feminine, plus, the old curtain reminds me more of my adoring husband. AND, changing curtain led me to. tip # 6. Reorganizing the room. I could never do this. Mike will always ensure that any "reorganization will suit his preference... which led me to tip # 7. Reorganizing the bathroom...which led me to tip # 8 Reorganizing the shoe rack. Separated the " to go ( to be thrown or given away), for keeps (for keeping until further notice) for ever ( for ever my choice)" which again led me to... tip # 9 Doing a detailed cleaning of our room. I was exhausted by noon time. I took a bath. Called Andrea home for lunch, made her nap after viewing Meet the Robinsons while I spend time thinking about husband again...I'm hurting still. So I decided to open the computer, read emails and finally. tip # 10. Blog. Pour out my heart through words. Even if no one could read this, it makes my load a few lbs lighter.

The Verdict

Tomorrow, September 12, will be another page in our history. Sandiganbayan will rule over the plunder and perjury charges against Joseph Estrada. The world's eyes and ears are all on us. The trial that took six years will determine the credibility of the Sandiganbayan. Some predicted that "Erap", as he is famously known, will be proclaimed "guilty" due to the pressure being exerted by the government. Some would argue that 'Not guilty" will be handed down due to the "credibility" issue of the "star witness". "Not guilty" verdict will also question the legitimacy of Arroyo's presidency. Either way, tomorrow's decision will have a great impact on our country, and on us Filipinos.

21 years ago, we made the whole world envy us for having thrown a dictator. Will the world envy us once more for ensuring that justice prevails in this country?

I have grown tired of politics. I have no trust on the public servants. For me, government officials are power thirsty, scheming hypocrites.

But I haven't lose hope. Hope that there is someone who could turn the government by 360'. Hope that Public Service has a noble meaning in his heart. Hope that majority of the voters will see beyond the face of "Ninoy".

Let us make the world envy us once again.