After five months of dreaming, conceptualizing and budgeting, my little dream is finally turning into a reality. Cusina Ni Tiya had it's soft opening yesterday. I was dead tired when I got home last night that even if I wanted to write how I felt on our first day, I fell asleep after I said goodnight to my little girl.
I was having second thoughts about pushing through with opening a small canteen. I doubted my capability, and I still doubt it now. I am so afraid to fail. Actually, I don't want to fail. Partly because I don't want others to look down on me, but the biggest reason why i don't want to fail, is because if I fail, I would think low about myself again. My greatest critic is also myself.
Initially, I was supposed to open last December 2007. But I was so busy procrastinating.
I read Paulo Coelho's the Zahir, and he wrote something which exactly describes how I felt then..." My dream is now realizable, but if I try and fail, I don't know what the rest of my life will be like; that's why it's better to live cherishing a dream than face the possibility that it might all come to nothing."
I'm trying to realize my dream now. I need all the courage I could extract from my heart to continue realizing my dream.
And the mantra that i keep on reminding myself is "Just believe, and it will happen."
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: Promise Yourself
Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and too happy to permit the
presence of trouble.
The Optimist Creed
From The Optimist International
I stumbled on this when I was looking for inspiring stories to get me back on my feet. I hope it could bring you additional energy as it did to me.
disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and too happy to permit the
presence of trouble.
The Optimist Creed
From The Optimist International
I stumbled on this when I was looking for inspiring stories to get me back on my feet. I hope it could bring you additional energy as it did to me.
Standards
A six year old child was crying. But before the mother could reach her, one mother asked her what happened. A two year old slapped her arm, the child explains. " Does it hurt?" The mother of the two year old asked. The six year old child just cried, and the mother of the two year old did nothing.
Does the degree of pain defines if the action is good or bad? In the absence of pain, is the action justified? It doesn't hurt anyway.
It's like eating fatty foods and not have hypertension.
...smoking packs and packs of cigarette everyday and not have lung cancer.
...driving beyond the allowed speed and not cause an accident.
...like a philandering husband who doesn't get caught.
It doesn't hurt them anyway.
Does the age of the aggressor excuses him from the action?
It's like a teenager eating too many fatty foods, he is young and looks healthy anyway.
...A twenty something gentleman smoking 2 packs of cigarette a day, he is starting to enjoy his life anyway.
...A car racer driving beyond the allowed speed in a densely populated district, he is a racer anyway.
...A thirty year old man who sleeps around but married to a forty something woman, he is young anyway.
That six year old is my daughter.
Does knowing that I am the mother added color to my story?
She is thinking that way because her daughter is involved anyway...
Does the degree of pain defines if the action is good or bad? In the absence of pain, is the action justified? It doesn't hurt anyway.
It's like eating fatty foods and not have hypertension.
...smoking packs and packs of cigarette everyday and not have lung cancer.
...driving beyond the allowed speed and not cause an accident.
...like a philandering husband who doesn't get caught.
It doesn't hurt them anyway.
Does the age of the aggressor excuses him from the action?
It's like a teenager eating too many fatty foods, he is young and looks healthy anyway.
...A twenty something gentleman smoking 2 packs of cigarette a day, he is starting to enjoy his life anyway.
...A car racer driving beyond the allowed speed in a densely populated district, he is a racer anyway.
...A thirty year old man who sleeps around but married to a forty something woman, he is young anyway.
That six year old is my daughter.
Does knowing that I am the mother added color to my story?
She is thinking that way because her daughter is involved anyway...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Please help us pray
My childhood friend's partner is included in the list of missing crew of MV Hofeng when it sank wednesday morning. Please help us pray that he will be rescued soon. Our spirits are down due to unconfirmed stories that he was slightly drunk the night before and the hang over could have slowed down his reflexes. We are still hoping for the best but it won't hurt if an extra soul prays for his safety.
MANILA, Jan 17 (Reuters) - Philippine authorities are searching for 11 sailors missing after their cargo ship sank in stormy weather off the northern coast, an official said on Thursday.
A spokesman for the coast guard said eight people had been plucked from choppy waters off Batanes island near Taiwan a few hours after the ship, which was carrying steel from China, sank on Wednesday.
"I spoke with the pilots helping our search and rescue ships in the area and they were having difficulty because of near zero visibility due to bad weather," Lieutenant Armand Balilo said, adding they were not giving up the search.
The ship, m/v Hofeng No. 7, was on its way to Malaysia and carrying 19 crew from the Philippines when huge waves, strong winds and rain caused it to list and sink.
"The rescued seamen were brought to Taiwan for medical treatment," Balilo said. (Reporting by Manny Mogato, editing by Carmel Crimmins)
MANILA, Jan 17 (Reuters) - Philippine authorities are searching for 11 sailors missing after their cargo ship sank in stormy weather off the northern coast, an official said on Thursday.
A spokesman for the coast guard said eight people had been plucked from choppy waters off Batanes island near Taiwan a few hours after the ship, which was carrying steel from China, sank on Wednesday.
"I spoke with the pilots helping our search and rescue ships in the area and they were having difficulty because of near zero visibility due to bad weather," Lieutenant Armand Balilo said, adding they were not giving up the search.
The ship, m/v Hofeng No. 7, was on its way to Malaysia and carrying 19 crew from the Philippines when huge waves, strong winds and rain caused it to list and sink.
"The rescued seamen were brought to Taiwan for medical treatment," Balilo said. (Reporting by Manny Mogato, editing by Carmel Crimmins)
Personal Space
I was busy scrubbing the floor today when the thought of personal space kept on entering my mind. The wood parquet must have felt how intense I was scrubbing it,but even if it screamed from pain, I wouldn't hear it.
How much space does a man need? A question which was asked in the book "Body Language The essential Secrets of Non Verbal Communication" by Julius Fast. It was mentioned in the book that " we staked out a territory in our mind". According to the book, each of us possess zones of territory, and if someones breaks this "zones of territory", we feel threatened and uneasy. He made an example on how we divide a table when eating out. Unconsciously, we divide the table in half, one half for us and half for the other person. How we guard our zones and how we agress to other zones, it says, shows an integral part of how we relate to other people.
But, when that zone of territory is not unconsciously drawn, but infact, established from the start? Does it still need a verbal claim that it is yours? Should you draw the line, shouldn't the other person draw the line on her own? Doesn't your personal things spell out that this particular territory is yours?
I could go on scrubbing the wood until my hand bleeds, but I wouldn't have the answer, unless, I confront the situation.
So much whining. About time that I stand up and really face it. The more I think about it, the more uneasy i get, and the pressure is building inside my chest.
If I don't stand up now, I'd be the loser in the end...
How much space does a man need? A question which was asked in the book "Body Language The essential Secrets of Non Verbal Communication" by Julius Fast. It was mentioned in the book that " we staked out a territory in our mind". According to the book, each of us possess zones of territory, and if someones breaks this "zones of territory", we feel threatened and uneasy. He made an example on how we divide a table when eating out. Unconsciously, we divide the table in half, one half for us and half for the other person. How we guard our zones and how we agress to other zones, it says, shows an integral part of how we relate to other people.
But, when that zone of territory is not unconsciously drawn, but infact, established from the start? Does it still need a verbal claim that it is yours? Should you draw the line, shouldn't the other person draw the line on her own? Doesn't your personal things spell out that this particular territory is yours?
I could go on scrubbing the wood until my hand bleeds, but I wouldn't have the answer, unless, I confront the situation.
So much whining. About time that I stand up and really face it. The more I think about it, the more uneasy i get, and the pressure is building inside my chest.
If I don't stand up now, I'd be the loser in the end...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: POSITIVE THINKING
I got hold of this very inspiring book "The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. I am still on the second chapter when I read a phrase that caught my attention and hit me real hard.
" You must never conclude, even though everything goes wrong, that you cannot succeed. Even at the worst there is a way out, a hidden secret that can turn failure into success and despair into happiness. No situation is so dark that there is not a ray of light."
I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a listener to all my troubled friends. When some of my colleagues thought of giving up on their job, I have offered them my ears and this philosophy in life, that everything will turn out find, eventually. The words from Peale's book reflected the thoughts that I have been trying to pass on to my colleagues and friends. And guess what, they were able to last longer than I did
Funny. Because while I was so busy sharing this philosophy with them. I forgot to live it.
I am just very lucky to have a husband who maintained his positive outlook in life, despite being bombarded with trials too. I have almost given up so many times. But he always put things into the right perspective, and gave me assurance that everything will turn out find, eventually.
I am truly blessed.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Yummy!
This is a grilled beef tripe with vinegar, garlic and chili for the dip. This can be bought from the street vendors selling different skewered meat (pork blood, chicken feet/neck etc.) for only ten pesos. Looks exotic but tastes heavenly, well, at least for me.
I went home with a full stomach and full of guilt. I have eaten more than I should have, but I am smiling.
अ गोल्डेन Night
CLASS '58 Golden Jubilee Grand Alumni Homecoming of Saint Philomena's Academy and (then) Pozorrubio High School.
The sparkle on their eyes outshone the dazzling lights that adorned the town plaza.
Cheers to all of you!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
One kind tree
There was once a tree alone on top of a hill. It was happy on it's own. Drinking water from the pouring rain, nourishing from the earth's natural minerals. The tree lived in harmony with the birds and animals that come and ago. Then one day, a wanderer found the tree and fell in love with it's strength and beauty, thus, the wanderer decided to stay. The man, respecting the beauty of the tree decided to keep it the way he found it. The man, the tree and the ocassional bird-animal- visitors lived in harmony.
But one day, the man needed to go down the hill. Being a proud inhabitant of the hill with a beautiful sturdy tree, he brought wanderers with him when he went back. They too fell in love with the tree. But beyond their admiration is their desire to avail of the comforts a sturdy tree could give them.
One wanderer was not contented with the comfort the leaves bring. " I can weave a bed with all that leaves" he told the man.
" But the tree will lose it's beauty" protested the man.
" Oh, you can look at it from the top, and you'll never notice that the leaves are thinner in number" He reasoned.
The other settlers heard this and and they too wanted a bed out of the leaves of the tree.
The man and the tree, although hurting, accepted the settler's reasoning. And then, they lived again in harmony.
One day, another settler talked to the man and said "I can build a house with those branches"
" But we can be protected by the branches just the way it is " The man protested. If we remove the branches, it will not be as sturdy as it used to be.
" But we will be more comfortable staying in a house." The settler reasoned. "Besides, we can be protected by the house that we will build."
When the other settlers heard this, they demanded a house be built from the branches of the tree.
The man and the tree gave in. The man thought that maybe after this, the settlers will be contented. He will instead tend to the tree so that it's branches and leaves will grow back. And it's beauty and strength restored.
So every day, the man tried everything to nurture the tree, while the settlers lie on the bed of leaves in the comfort of their houses. Until one day, although not fully recovered from the broken branches and missing leaves, the tree started to grow flowers.
The man was so pleased with the tree. " Tree, you may not look as beautiful as you used to be, but the scent of your flowers will draw the birds and the bees.Ahh, your beauty is restored". Contentment and relief can be seen on the man's face.
Then the settlers caught the exquisite scent of the flowers, and one by one the flowers started to disappear.
" If you remove the flowers, there will be no fruit later on." The man protested.
"Oh, stop being foolish" one settler smirked at him. " There will be enough flowers to grow into fruit." Then they went on, plucking the flowers that they could reach.
The man and the tree, contained their disappointment in their heart.
Then the days passed and the few flowers bloomed and became fruits. The man and the tree was pleased.
The man then decided to go down the hill for some things.
When the settlers saw this, they tried to get the fruits. But the only flowers that were left to grow into fruits were on the top most part of the tree, the settlers could not reach it from the ground.
" I will climb so we can get the fruits." One settler volounteered. Then he climbed. But he was tempted to try one fruit, just one fruit he thought. But he was so pleased with the sweetness of the fruit that he took another one. The other settlers saw this. Thinking that the settler up on the tree is outsmarting them, they demanded him to go down. So absorbed with eating the fruit that he did not notice the clamor of the settlers down the tree. No settler would settle for anything less, so one by one they climbed the tree, each wanting to come up first, each wanting to get more fruits than the other. There were very few sturdy branches, and the little branches that were starting to grow were stepped on. Many branches broke. Plenty of fruits were smashed and fell to the ground.
The tree stood there, helpless. With every settler pushing it's trunk and stepping on it's branches, the tree grew weaker and weaker.
Then the man arrived and saw what was happening. He got so mad and shouted at the settlers. " Look what you have done!" The man's voice was starting to quiver with so much anger. " You wasted the fruits with your selfishness." The man was trembling in rage and was close to tears as he stared at the crushed fruits lying on the ground.
" You are only sorry for your self because you will not be able to sell the fruits." One brave settler asnwered back at the man.
" Whoever thought I will sell these fruits? he asked with astonishment in his voice. " I came down for these baskets, so each house could have one to place the fruits during harvest time."
The settlers, having realized their mistake, retreated to their houses with their heads bowed down.
The man was left on his own, picking up the crushed fruits and the fallen branches.
During the night, the man, eyes closed, lay motionless under the tree, the roots keeping his back off the ground. When he opened his eyes to stare at the leaves of the tree, his gaze was met by the dark clouds that enveloped the sky. Then he cried unashamedly.
" Sorry tree, I was not very good to you. You have been so kind to me the moment I stepped on your hill. Your leaves sheltered me from the burning sun, your branches protected me from the rain. You gave me enough twigs and leaves to use for my fire, even provided fruits that I and the birds share." He spoke to the tree in between sobs. " You have been so kind to me, but your kindness was taken advantaged of. Because of me, you were exploited."
In the middle of the night, the man left the hill. Ashamed and in pain. He couldn't bear to look at the tree again, for he can see his failure, in every part of the tree. He failed in protecting the tree that gave him everything.
When the settlers learned that the man left. They rejoiced. No one will stop them from doing what they want. So they gathered more leaves to make as beds, and more branches to build more houses.
Then one day, a strong storm came. The houses that the settlers built were blown away, the bed of leaves flew with the wind. Each settler tried to seek the comfort of the big tree. One by one, the settlers gathered around it. But the tree is not as sturdy as it used to be. It grew weaker and weaker each time it's branches were cut off and everytime a settler climbs on it. Then, a sudden gushed of wind brought the tree down. The settlers stood there, wet, shivering and uncaring that the kind tree was almost lying on the ground.
Disappointed that the tree could no longer provide them their needs. The settlers left the hill and wandered again. Looking for the same kind, beautiful and sturdy tree.
But the man, realizing what could have happened to his beloved tree, went up the hill. He cried in anguish when he saw what happened to what was once a beautiful and sturdy but did not lose hope, it is a sturdy tree, he reasoned out. So every day he nurtured the tree. He tended to it. The man, the birds and the animal.
Until finally, the tree bounced back to it's health. "Ahh, you are still my beautiful and sturdy tree, even if you are lying down now." The man, a smile on his lips, laid his back on the trunk of the tree.
The man, the tree, the birds and the animals lived there in harmony.
But one day, the man needed to go down the hill. Being a proud inhabitant of the hill with a beautiful sturdy tree, he brought wanderers with him when he went back. They too fell in love with the tree. But beyond their admiration is their desire to avail of the comforts a sturdy tree could give them.
One wanderer was not contented with the comfort the leaves bring. " I can weave a bed with all that leaves" he told the man.
" But the tree will lose it's beauty" protested the man.
" Oh, you can look at it from the top, and you'll never notice that the leaves are thinner in number" He reasoned.
The other settlers heard this and and they too wanted a bed out of the leaves of the tree.
The man and the tree, although hurting, accepted the settler's reasoning. And then, they lived again in harmony.
One day, another settler talked to the man and said "I can build a house with those branches"
" But we can be protected by the branches just the way it is " The man protested. If we remove the branches, it will not be as sturdy as it used to be.
" But we will be more comfortable staying in a house." The settler reasoned. "Besides, we can be protected by the house that we will build."
When the other settlers heard this, they demanded a house be built from the branches of the tree.
The man and the tree gave in. The man thought that maybe after this, the settlers will be contented. He will instead tend to the tree so that it's branches and leaves will grow back. And it's beauty and strength restored.
So every day, the man tried everything to nurture the tree, while the settlers lie on the bed of leaves in the comfort of their houses. Until one day, although not fully recovered from the broken branches and missing leaves, the tree started to grow flowers.
The man was so pleased with the tree. " Tree, you may not look as beautiful as you used to be, but the scent of your flowers will draw the birds and the bees.Ahh, your beauty is restored". Contentment and relief can be seen on the man's face.
Then the settlers caught the exquisite scent of the flowers, and one by one the flowers started to disappear.
" If you remove the flowers, there will be no fruit later on." The man protested.
"Oh, stop being foolish" one settler smirked at him. " There will be enough flowers to grow into fruit." Then they went on, plucking the flowers that they could reach.
The man and the tree, contained their disappointment in their heart.
Then the days passed and the few flowers bloomed and became fruits. The man and the tree was pleased.
The man then decided to go down the hill for some things.
When the settlers saw this, they tried to get the fruits. But the only flowers that were left to grow into fruits were on the top most part of the tree, the settlers could not reach it from the ground.
" I will climb so we can get the fruits." One settler volounteered. Then he climbed. But he was tempted to try one fruit, just one fruit he thought. But he was so pleased with the sweetness of the fruit that he took another one. The other settlers saw this. Thinking that the settler up on the tree is outsmarting them, they demanded him to go down. So absorbed with eating the fruit that he did not notice the clamor of the settlers down the tree. No settler would settle for anything less, so one by one they climbed the tree, each wanting to come up first, each wanting to get more fruits than the other. There were very few sturdy branches, and the little branches that were starting to grow were stepped on. Many branches broke. Plenty of fruits were smashed and fell to the ground.
The tree stood there, helpless. With every settler pushing it's trunk and stepping on it's branches, the tree grew weaker and weaker.
Then the man arrived and saw what was happening. He got so mad and shouted at the settlers. " Look what you have done!" The man's voice was starting to quiver with so much anger. " You wasted the fruits with your selfishness." The man was trembling in rage and was close to tears as he stared at the crushed fruits lying on the ground.
" You are only sorry for your self because you will not be able to sell the fruits." One brave settler asnwered back at the man.
" Whoever thought I will sell these fruits? he asked with astonishment in his voice. " I came down for these baskets, so each house could have one to place the fruits during harvest time."
The settlers, having realized their mistake, retreated to their houses with their heads bowed down.
The man was left on his own, picking up the crushed fruits and the fallen branches.
During the night, the man, eyes closed, lay motionless under the tree, the roots keeping his back off the ground. When he opened his eyes to stare at the leaves of the tree, his gaze was met by the dark clouds that enveloped the sky. Then he cried unashamedly.
" Sorry tree, I was not very good to you. You have been so kind to me the moment I stepped on your hill. Your leaves sheltered me from the burning sun, your branches protected me from the rain. You gave me enough twigs and leaves to use for my fire, even provided fruits that I and the birds share." He spoke to the tree in between sobs. " You have been so kind to me, but your kindness was taken advantaged of. Because of me, you were exploited."
In the middle of the night, the man left the hill. Ashamed and in pain. He couldn't bear to look at the tree again, for he can see his failure, in every part of the tree. He failed in protecting the tree that gave him everything.
When the settlers learned that the man left. They rejoiced. No one will stop them from doing what they want. So they gathered more leaves to make as beds, and more branches to build more houses.
Then one day, a strong storm came. The houses that the settlers built were blown away, the bed of leaves flew with the wind. Each settler tried to seek the comfort of the big tree. One by one, the settlers gathered around it. But the tree is not as sturdy as it used to be. It grew weaker and weaker each time it's branches were cut off and everytime a settler climbs on it. Then, a sudden gushed of wind brought the tree down. The settlers stood there, wet, shivering and uncaring that the kind tree was almost lying on the ground.
Disappointed that the tree could no longer provide them their needs. The settlers left the hill and wandered again. Looking for the same kind, beautiful and sturdy tree.
But the man, realizing what could have happened to his beloved tree, went up the hill. He cried in anguish when he saw what happened to what was once a beautiful and sturdy but did not lose hope, it is a sturdy tree, he reasoned out. So every day he nurtured the tree. He tended to it. The man, the birds and the animal.
Until finally, the tree bounced back to it's health. "Ahh, you are still my beautiful and sturdy tree, even if you are lying down now." The man, a smile on his lips, laid his back on the trunk of the tree.
The man, the tree, the birds and the animals lived there in harmony.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Blog Your Blessings Sunday: WOMAN
You can see her in the affection of a…
Sister
You can see her in the care of a…
Mother
You can see her in the envy of a…
Beloved
You can see her in the understanding of a…
Wife.
She’s a woman
She’s YOU.
This was the content of the e card that my husband sent me,while I was feeling low. Again, it brought tears to my eyes.
For all the women.
You may check the ecard at http://egreetings.indiatimes.com/egreet/compose.jsp?recpno=1&langid=13&imgid=5442&subcatid=130204&pay_cardflag=P. It is better with music.
Happy Blog Your Blessings Sunday!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I welcomed the New Year with a BLAG!
BLAG, not with a bang, because I fell down the stairs in my father in law's home. I was going down the stairs absentmindedly when I heard a couple of "blags" then I found myself on the floor, shock and unbelieving that I fell. My sister in law and father in law rushed to help me, I was hurt but not badly hurt, just shaken from the fall so I wasn't able to move nor speak at once. As I was being helped to my feet, I laughed. I laughed for looking stupid. I had gone up and down that stairs many times during the span of six years. And this is the first time that I fell. But I took the stairs again, this time, with a little care.Looking deeper, my "fall" is just like the things that happens in our life. When we have grown comfortable with our routine, sometimes we function automatically. Then out of the blue, we take a "fall". We ask how could that happen? We knew perfectly well what to do, just like I know perfectly well how to go up and down the stairs. But still, I fell, and we take a fall every now and then. Either we laughed at it, rise from the fall and take the stairs again, or wallow in despair for looking stupid over a simple task. Even if we are left with bruises, just like the bruises I have on my back and thighs, it will heal, eventually, and we would be as good as before.
A new year for me, a new career soon. Last year I took a "fall" when I quit my job. It was difficult financially, I am bruised. But with the new venture which I hope I could start soon, I will heal, eventually, and all my "bruises" will be gone.
Start the year right, even if it started with a BLAG!
Happy New Year everyone!
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